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<title>His Dark-Something by Liliriu</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26550676">His Dark-Something</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liliriu/pseuds/Liliriu'>Liliriu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dream Cycle - H. P. Lovecraft, LOVECRAFT H. P. - Works</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Mental Instability, Psychological Horror, Romance, Unhealthy Relationships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:14:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>666</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26550676</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liliriu/pseuds/Liliriu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Randolph's mind wanders as he lies next to his lover. And he is losing it.</p><p>Warnings: mental instability, self hatred, self homophobia.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Randolph Carter/Harley Warren, Randolph Carter/Nyarlathotep</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>His Dark-Something</h2></a>
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    <p>Randolph Carter stretched, making himself more conformable as he lied next to his lover. He was reflecting on the nature of time, such a curious creature it was. Only a second ago, or so it seemed, he had been a soldier, fighting at the war. But also that could not be true; said second could never had passed, and forever he would be fighting at the war. He had believed so against all logic, and even now he could not fully convince himself otherwise; no matter that his senses claimed that he was safe inside his bed, with Harley Warren by his side.</p><p>He had never had a lover before, at least not one that lasted for a long period of time, and never a man. But what reason was there to find his current state strange? Having a lover was the most common of things, and it was not new to Randolph to fancy other men. His profound belief regarding the wrongness of this kind of desires, had only ever served to double their strength. When had all of this started? Perhaps The Chaos was to blame. He was not a man of course, but he had, undeniably, taken the form of one. Or perhaps he had taken it because of Randolph's already existing leaning, with the intention to cause a more specific interest in The God.</p><p>But if that was done with an intention in mind, did it mean that The God had also, even before, taken an interest in him? For a god to love a mortal; to love Randolph, all the more, that seemed senseless, even taking into account the countless myths which disagreed. There was one fact to consider: for a reason, The Chaos had allowed him to run away. Why had he chosen to do so? Or perhaps – had Randolph actually carried off the escape? There was another possibility, an unspeakable one, which was the true reason behind all of his dreads: perhaps The Chaos had, after all, never let him go; perhaps as he imagined to be in his bed, in reality he was still flying on the back of the hideous shantak, in an eternal quest for the court of the mindless daemon-sultan. And it was not even the worst possibility, for maybe he had, after all, arrived to the hall of Azathoth, and there he dwelt until this very day.</p><p>Well, that could explain the war.</p><p>Harley was caressing the roots of his hair. His touch was very soft, like a touch meant to make an animal or a child relax. And it worked. A second ago, Randolph had commanded men at the war, and now he was lying with a man. He had failed his men; many had died under his command, and Harley Warren, he thought, was the punishment for his crimes. He would claim to love him, yet always be striving for control; mumbling sweet nothings about how "hot" Randolph's body was, or what a "smart kid" he was (despite their being almost equal in age); attempting to calm him in ways so condescending that it was even worse when they did work; and being so beautiful all the while, beautiful like a god, beautiful like The God. They were not physically alike, but they had this same dark-something hanging about, which was venomous yet allured him so, and they used it against him, for it had power over him, and it always would.</p><p>He was shedding silent tears now, not an unusual event. Harley made a soothing "shhh..." sound, and Randolph drew closer to his chest, burying his head between the other man's strong arms.</p><p>“Try to sleep a bit, baby. I am holding you.”</p><p>Randolph mumbled, “I was thinking about time.”</p><p>“That is very interesting, my sweet,” and Randolph knew that he meant those words, “but now we both need some rest, tomorrow I want to hear.” Harley kissed his head and covered him with his dark-something, as Randolph drifted into sleep.</p>
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